just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
