Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
