he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
