what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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