You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
