I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
