ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
