based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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