Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
