this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
