he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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