I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
