she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
