I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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