I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
