Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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