when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
