We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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