She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
