That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
