proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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