Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
