have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
