you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
