sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
