I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
