I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
