Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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