the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
