found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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