I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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