when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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