Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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