Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
