Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
