Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We left the knife in your bed.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
