yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
only if we run a train.
done.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
