We won't sleep together?
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
