i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
