anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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