omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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