I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
