Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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