i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
