I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
