Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
