I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
