This is not my ceiling
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
