There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
