Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
